Can Men and Women Be Strictly Friends?


Can Men and Women Be Strictly Friends?

Can a man and a woman be just friends? In many cases, the answer is no when both people see friendship as a step to mutually satisfying love, sex, and commitment. On the other hand, men and women cannot be just friends when one friend desires something more. Those mismatched desires between men and women lead to unequal Friend-zone situations, in which one person's needs are completely satisfied at the others expense. Those unfortunate instances and the frustrations around them are the friendship problems we hear so much about.

Men and women sometimes have very different goals and desires in opposite-sex friendships. Although both may sometimes be looking for a companion, and nothing more, on other occasions plans may differ. To make matters worse, each sex sees the others benefit as their own cost, Thus,  women tend to find it costly and onerous when male friends desire sex and romance. Men in contrast find that time and money demands costly and frustrating, particularly when their romantic desires are not reciprocated. So due to the mismatched to desires we have the makings of friendship difficulties.


Friendship between men and women is not impossible. However, it does require finding someone with friendship goals matching your own. Communicating clearly and leaving when there is not a match is key. Also,  if you decide to be just friends "it may be better to pick friends who are already in other romantic relationships. That way,  you can have a satisfying exchange,  a good friend and no frustration. 

Men I likely to see sex and romantic potential in an opposite sex friend as a benefit, while women primarily see it as it cost. As a result, men more likely then women to report that the had sex with an opposite-sex friend. Men are also more likely to report friendship costs lowered self worth and giving time to help the friend. While women found their own inability to reciprocate the makes attraction as costly. There for, when the friendship does not turn  sexual or romantic, men are often left feeling rejected and used. While women felt uncomfortable with the unequal attraction. In contrast, when friendship does turn romantic or sexual, some of the men continue to label the women as " just friends". 

Healthy friendship involves emotional intimacy, as well it should. Deep friendship leads to a level of sharing that is selectively and usually confidential. That means others I excluded from the conversations. When a woman shares intimate feelings with a man who is not her husband, a wedge forms between her and her husband. He is excluded from the privacy she shares with her male best friend. And when this starts to happen be aware.

 Let's be adults, physical intimacy is the sequel of emotional intimacy in most healthy friendships. That's the way we are weird as humans. Give emotionally intimate heterosexual couples enough time and physical intimacy follows or at least the temptation to be physical emerges. 

What some people think about this.

Solo, teacher:

The only time it works is if both parties are in happy relationships, sexually satisfied at home, and they're a strong professional or interest reasons to be friends.

Julie:

As the youngest of three was to older brothers, I always had them to look up to. I had many guy friends growing up. I got used to seeing men as people not objects of affection,  and it has helped me to get a healthy friendships with men...  if you live sex out of the equation then a guy can really give you an insight about men that girlfriends just can't.

John:

Men and women often think they are nothing but friends, when in reality one persons mind or the other is thinking more. They may never share this information with their friends but there is always that feeling that one of these days we are going to get a little tipsy and make out.

Lindsley:

Men and women cannot be friends with someone they are attracted to, and unfortunately, most men are attracted to almost every woman so the idea that they can be friends without thoughts of sex is ridiculous. Being friends in group activities is fine. I hope get worried if your guy was off drawing one on one with a woman that is called love.

SPB:

While men and women can be friends, it is difficult for the relationship to be entirely platonic. Our genetics simply drive our attraction to the opposite sex! The likelihood that at least one party is drawn to the other sexually is very high, regardless of weather or not and I think ever comes of it. This is the reason jealousy and infidelity exists. We are not weird to be a monogamous species.

Stefan:

No it is not possible, especially if the woman is single. Women always to the matchup first for their criteria and, if not, for one of her BFFs. It does not matter how long the woman knows the man; if he is good looking, smart, charming, resourceful, courageous, adventurous and gainfully employed, she will always Wonder what it would be like to be married to him.

Jennifer:

The only way you can have a guy friend when you are married is if you find this man so unattractive, there would be no way he could evil worm his way into your pants. That is just no real male/female heterosexual friendship that does not have and an underlying attraction.

William:

With my line of work, I come into contact with women all the time. But for me, it is a matter of knowing when not to cross boundaries. With some people, there will always be sexual attraction, but you don't have to always go there with them. You can get a lot out of a friendship when you keep it platonic.

Taylor:

Yes although I never choose a woman to be my platonic friend until I was in my mid 30s. I grew up as a traditional boy and simply didn't have much in common with my sisters. However, as a grown man I value the knowledge a woman can bring in my life, and today she must be my friend before she can be my wife.

Dominic:

What kind of best friend do I intend keeping that I can't keep with my wife?

Caleb:

Tiger play with dog which kind of play is that, is dangerous for a dog to be a best friend with Tiger (is possible but is dangerous)

The debate rolls on, what do you think?

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